Every day we go to work so that we have the means to make a living, find self-fulfillment, and ensure financial stability for ourselves and our family. Yet we often don’t realize how little we talk to our children about our work and how many question marks may remain in their heads. A child’s mind is curious.
A simple answer like “Mom has to go to work” is no longer enough. A child wants to understand where their parents spend a significant part of the day. They need to grasp why we go to work and what we do there. Children who get clear answers from their parents feel safer, handle separations during workdays better, and gradually develop a positive, healthy attitude toward working life.
When and why to start talking to children about work?
From conversations with psychologists, educators, and parents, we know that you can start sensitive communication about work at a very early age. A child at two to three years old understands the basics of parents leaving for work, even if they don’t grasp it fully yet. It’s helpful to use simple sentences like “I’m going to work to earn money so we can buy food” or “At work I help people who are sick.” As the child grows, you can add more details.
The main benefit of open communication is the prevention of negative emotions, such as anxiety or insecurity in the child. The child also better understands that adults have obligations and responsibilities—which supports greater emotional stability.
Talking about work brings other benefits too. A child learns responsibility, the value of money, and begins to better understand where the things they use every day come from.
Let’s actively and regularly open up the topic of work, for example when we come home, or during conversation at mealtimes.
How to simply explain to a child what you do for work?
Try to explain to the child what your job involves. If you’re a nurse, show your child a toy medical kit. Say that you help sick people, take their temperature, and give them medicine so they feel better. Visual and playful demonstrations help a child understand most easily.
You can explain different jobs with hands-on examples at any time of day. You can show the job of a shop assistant while shopping together. Talk about what the cashier does (counts money, bags items). A bus driver is easy for a child to spot on the way from home—show them the process of people getting on, the driver checking tickets, driving the vehicle, and keeping everyone safe.
A good strategy is to occasionally take your child directly to your workplace. Children can get to know the environment naturally, meet your colleagues, and see the reality of your day. It creates a concrete picture of where you are when you’re not at home, which eases their worries.
Here is a sample dialogue that might look like this: Child: “Why do you go away every day?” You: “I’m going to work. It’s a place where I do my job, like a preschool teacher does theirs. I help people with computers so they can do their work.”
How to build healthy work values and attitudes in children
During conversations about work, you have an ideal opportunity to show your child the broader meaning of work. Explain that work isn’t just a necessary evil. Talk about work in terms of how you help other people or how your job is interesting. Children easily mirror your attitudes.
Work should be presented as a natural activity that belongs in life and through which we contribute to society. Emphasize the benefits it brings you personally—e.g., that you like feeling useful, that it makes you happy when you accomplish something. Teach your child that everyone has an important role in society—a sanitation worker just as much as a doctor or a farmer.
How to answer children’s tough questions about work and employment
Sometimes a challenging situation comes up in which you’ll have to answer less cheerful questions. For example, if a parent loses their job, it’s important to explain it to the child sensitively but honestly. Choose words appropriate to the child’s age and focus primarily on the positive aspect—you’ll spend more time together, or you’ll look for an even better job where you’ll be happier.
Children are also often curious why some jobs look dangerous. Explain that there are many truly demanding professions—such as firefighters, soldiers, or emergency room doctors. Also tell them that these people are specially trained to handle such situations.
It may happen that a child complains that the parent is always at work. Try to explain that it’s so you can provide them with a good and happy life—buy food, clothing, and toys. It’s worth stressing that the parent doesn’t always find the situation easy, but is trying to be with the child as often as possible.
The question “And why do you have to go to work all the time, anyway?” is among the toughest. Suitable answers might be, for example: “Because people help each other—I help people fix their cars, and in return we can buy the things we need for a good life.” In this way, you explain the interconnectedness and mutual dependence among people.
Common mistakes when talking to children about work
Parents can often unintentionally pass on negative emotions related to work. “I wish I didn’t have to go to work,” “Work again,” or “I can’t wait to be off.” A child easily remembers these phrases and forms the idea that work is something negative and unpleasant. That doesn’t mean you can’t be honest with your child—rather, try to name specific situations and feelings (“I’m tired today because work was super hectic”), but avoid sweeping negative statements about work as such.
Actively talk with your child about your work. It helps them better understand the world. If you want to start communicating more effectively with your child about work, consider getting a book to help you along.