Time without the kids, however, is not a luxury but a necessity that every family needs to function in a healthy way. We know how hard it is to find balance. That’s why in this article we focus on practical tips for how to find that time, how often to plan it, and why it’s so important to actively take care of it.
Why is time for yourself—and just with your partner—essential?
The mother is often the main person the family’s day-to-day life rests on. When she is overloaded, tired, and frustrated, it shows not only on her, but on the whole family—on the children, on the relationship with her partner, and on the overall atmosphere at home. Having enough time for herself helps her lower stress, recharge, and boost her mental resilience, which in turn benefits the family’s wellbeing.
But if you suppress your own needs for a long time, it can lead to serious problems, stress, anxiety, or even burnout. Neglecting yourself never pays off in the long run. Mothers who regularly pursue hobbies, relax, and meet friends tend to be more satisfied and emotionally stable.
Just as personal time is essential, so is time with your partner without the kids. Children need to see their parents as a team—a loving, communicative couple with a solid foundation. When parents neglect their relationship, conflict or distance often follows, which children sense acutely and which affects their sense of safety and security.
How to let go of guilt and start prioritizing yourself?
Guilt often stems from the mistaken idea that an ideal mother should spend most of her time with the children. It helps to set aside social pressure and others’ expectations and think rationally instead—a good parent is someone who also knows how to meet their own needs. That doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you a responsible mother.
Actively plan kid-free time. Even small, regular pockets are enough—say 20 minutes in the morning for yoga, reading, a cup of coffee, or a walk or a bit of unwinding before bed. We recommend putting these moments into your calendar like an important appointment and honoring them just as carefully as if they were a work obligation.
How to practically set up regular couple time?
Talk regularly with your partner about what you both need, how you most like to spend time together, and agree on how often you’ll have kid-free time. That way you both know what to expect and reduce the risk of misunderstandings.
Consider whom you can ask for childcare—grandparents, good friends, a babysitter, or even a swap with another family where you can return the favor.
Time together doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. The important thing is that you’re together, you relax, and you really listen to each other. Go out for dinner, exercise, take a walk, or stay in and enjoy a favorite movie, cooking, or simply a good conversation over a glass of wine—without phones or the TV.
It’s recommended to plan couple time at least once a week in the evening and, at least once a month, go out together for longer and enjoy a change of scenery. If you feel tension, frustration, or distance in the relationship, it’s usually a sign that you need more time together.
It’s never too late to actively make time for yourself and your relationship. Don’t treat it as a luxury, but as essential care for yourself, your partnership, and your family. Small, regular changes are enough, and you’ll soon find you’re a more content, balanced parent with a well-functioning family and relationship.