"Can I sleep over at my friend's tonight?" Naturally, we want our child to have great moments and make friends. At the same time, we know it means a new environment, new rules, and other adult authority figures we don't always know firsthand. So how can we approach this with confidence, and when is the best time to say "yes" to a sleepover at a friend's?
When is a child ready for their first sleepover at a friend's?
Many parents wonder about the right time and age for a first night away from home. In general, first experiences with a sleepover at a friend’s happen around ages six to eight. More important than a specific age, though, are the behavioral signs and the relationship and trust you have with the friend’s parent.
If you're unsure, watch your child's behavior in everyday situations. Can they spend time away from home without trouble—at an after-school activity, at Grandma’s, or at school events without a parent present? Are they able to dress and wash themselves, resolve a minor conflict with a friend, or ask another adult for help if they need it? If yes, your child is likely ready for a sleepover adventure.
It's also important that the child shows interest on their own—never send a child to a sleepover under pressure or just because other kids are doing it. Respecting the child’s individual sensitivity and needs is important.
First try a sleepover at Grandma’s or with other relatives who aren’t complete strangers to your child. That will show you how they handle a night without you.
How to prepare for the first sleepover at a friend's?
Once you’re convinced your child is ready for their first sleepover at a friend's, it’s time to prepare. Before you let them go, you should personally know the friend's family. Make sure you know where they live and that you have each other’s contact details in case of emergency. Also make sure your child can call or text you at any time.
Pack the sleepover bag together. Include a favorite toy or stuffed animal. Don’t forget to reassure your child that if anything happens, you’re not far away and you’ll gladly pick them up. Clear communication and mutual trust are the basis for a successful first night away from home.
How to handle repeated sleepovers?
If the first sleepover goes well and your child gains confidence, you can soon expect more requests to sleep away from home. Set, for example, a maximum number of sleepovers per month so your child doesn’t spend too much time away from home. Make sure you know and trust the families with whom your child is staying.
Also, regularly talk with your child about their experiences. Give them your attention and let them share the details they personally want to mention.
What if your child isn't ready yet?
If your child isn’t ready for sleepovers, don’t force it. Arrange evening get-togethers where the kids play for a while and have dinner together, but each child then sleeps at home. Support your child at their own pace. Praise gradual progress and you’ll see that when sleepovers aren’t made into a big deal, your child will soon manage one without much trouble.
Sleepovers at friends’ houses are great for kids. They strengthen friendships—for your child and for you with the other parents. Trust your child, don’t be afraid, and make sure you can reach each other. You’ll see that sleepovers become easy—and even welcome, because you’ll have an evening to yourselves.