It often happens that at some stage children lose the desire to learn, dodge tasks, and instead of curiosity, frustration or indifference settles on their faces. Why is that? And what can a parent do when they want to support their child's independence and responsibility for school?
The answers are not simple—motivation to learn is a complex process shaped by the child's inner world, family background, and the conditions at school.
1. Understanding children's motivation
Motivation is the force that leads us to act; it gives us the desire and energy to overcome obstacles, reach goals, and learn new things. For children, motivation to learn is a key part of healthy development. Without motivation, a child learns only 'because they have to', which leads to short‑term knowledge, aversion to school, and loss of joy.
Researchers distinguish between intrinsic motivation (the child wants to discover something on their own; something interests them) and extrinsic motivation (they behave a certain way because of rewards, punishment, or outside pressure). For long‑term development, it is crucial to nurture intrinsic motivation. In children, the two types often overlap.
A child's development shapes how motivation is experienced at different ages. Toddlers and preschoolers have a natural drive to explore—the world around them is new and fascinating. Once a child starts school, motivation can shift: there may be pressure to perform, comparisons with classmates, or disappointment from setbacks.
Why do some children go to school happily while others do not? It often comes down to the strength of their intrinsic motivation: how much say they have in choosing games, materials, or deciding when and which homework to do. Motivation is not an inborn trait—it is a skill that can be developed.
Intrinsic motivation means a child does something because it feels meaningful or fun. It can be the joy of discovery, pride in mastering a new skill, an interest in a specific topic, or simple curiosity. Extrinsic motivation is when a child does tasks for a reward (praise, a treat, a new toy) or out of fear of punishment (yelling, no TV, a bad grade).
Keep in mind that extrinsic motivation is not harmful in itself—at certain stages it is necessary and usually serves as a bridge toward building intrinsic motivation. Parents often rely on extrinsic motivation too long, and the child may never reach intrinsic motivation.
As children grow, peers matter more—classmates and friends shape their attitude toward school. Puberty and adolescence are periods when motivation is strongly influenced by emotions and resistance to authority.
Differences in motivation stem not only from temperament but also from the environment in which a child grows up. Children who experience trust and safety at home tend to keep their desire to learn longer. Constant pressure, comparison, or unfair reproaches, on the other hand, suppress their interest.
For parents, this mainly means responsibility: create an atmosphere where a child is not afraid to make mistakes.
2. How to motivate your child at home
Children learn primarily by imitation. When parents show curiosity, delight in new things, and genuine enthusiasm, this 'appetite for learning' rubs off on the child. A child's attitude toward school and learning is picked up mostly at home. You don't have to be perfect or know everything. What matters is showing interest, not being afraid to make mistakes in front of your child, and demonstrating that learning is not just a 'necessary evil' but a source of joy and satisfaction. Read together, discuss questions that come to mind, watch documentaries, or solve puzzles together.
Support your child by creating an environment where they can focus. A desk with plenty of light, a quality bed, and space to play are important. So is time and a quiet place to concentrate.
Fostering independence is one of the most important aspects of motivation. Age‑appropriately, a child should have the chance to plan part of their own duties, organize work, and break bigger tasks into smaller steps.
Parents should help more by asking questions than by giving advice: 'How would you like to do it?' or 'What is going well? What would you change?'.
3. Helpful tools and activities to support motivation
Various activities and educational toys help children practice and develop different skills—whether logic, fine motor skills, language, math, or imagination—in a natural, low‑pressure way. The right tool or activity can be a bridge between play and learning.
Ideal activities include for example:
- Building models, puzzles, or 3D constructions
- Cooking or baking
- Gardening (observing growth, counting seeds, keeping a journal)
- Pretend play—shop, post office, doctor (communication, problem‑solving, math)
- Water experiments, 'science' experiments, and simple physics at home
- Board games focused on vocabulary, logic, or perception
- Nature trips combined with exploration or collecting different things (stones, chestnuts, etc.)
Technology belongs in today's children's world just like books and building sets. By choosing quality apps, digital games, or online courses, you can present even complex topics in a fun way. Popular apps include Duolingo (languages), Khan Academy (math, science), Scratch and Code.org (intro to programming), and various logic games for tablets. Digital learning tools should not replace hands‑on learning, but complement it.
4. Routine, time management, and motivation
Children who have regular routines around their responsibilities can concentrate and rest better. A structured approach to learning also helps reduce stress—the child knows when they will do homework, when it's time to play, and when they can rest. Being systematic is a prevention against procrastination and last‑minute rushes.
We recommend setting aside afternoon blocks for study, typically followed by time to play and move. Older children should keep their own planner or timetable.
5. Working with mistakes
Fear of failure often stems from experiences at home where too much emphasis is placed on performance and flawless results. In practice this means: never put your child down for a one‑off setback. Explain that even adults don't learn things perfectly on the first try.
Make mistakes a normal topic rather than a taboo. Help your child analyze errors. Ask, 'What would you try differently next time?'. The goal is not perfectionism, but the ability not to give up and to move forward with their head held high.
6. Common mistakes parents make and how to avoid them
One of the most common mistakes is excessive pressure—big expectations, constant comparisons, or a demand for flawless performance usually demotivate a child and trigger anxiety and resistance. A child is not a small adult—their pace and learning style won't always match our ideas. Remember: praise should be for progress, not for a perfect result. Try to avoid threats and unnecessary punishments for poor grades or a slower pace.
Don't overload your child. Too many clubs and activities, too much homework, or unrealistic expectations can be exhausting. Motivation also includes teaching children to rest properly and to plan time not only for duties but also for play and sports.
Don't try to be perfect. Look for new paths with your child, celebrate successes together, and don't be afraid to make mistakes.